Numb
by lordkagome
Summary: [songfic of Numb.]Having an abusive boyfriend and father, he becomes use to the pain.... unitl that's all he feels. Is there anyway to fix it? one shot


Title: Numb

Decription: Having an abusive boyfriend and father, he becomes use to the pain... til that's all he feels. Is there anyway to fix it?

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I know I know. I also don't own 'Numb' by Linkin Park.

Story time 

Sora's POV

"Sora! It's time for school!" The young boy groaned as he heard his father telling me to wake up from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm up!" He yelled back, as he climbed out of bed. Rubbing his eyes he looked at his digital clock. _Only 6:00 am! I so-o want to go back to bed! Why must he leave work so early! _He yawned and rubbed his eyes again as he stood up. He looked in his mirror. His hair was a bigger mess than it usually is which really hard. He walked a little closer to his body sized mirror to inspect the damage. All the cuts on his body had scarred over except the ones on his ankles. He had massive bruises on his chest and arms each the size of at least two of his fists. Smaller ones were scattered everywhere. There was two small ones on his right cheek and he had a scar on the left part of his lip, which was covered up by a lip piercing. His left ear was pierced three times and his right once. A black half-hoop with spikes on the ends was in his right earbrow. A black dragon with red and blue stripes was on his upper left arm.

He walked down the stairs and into the nearest bathroom. He yawned again as he turned the shower up all the way. He took off his pajamas and threw them into the bin and climbed into the shower. The spikey brunette sighed, waking up. Sora washed his hair and body up within a matter of minutes then climbed back out when the water turned cold. He wrapped a blue towel around his waist and one is his hair. He wiped the steam off the mirror and waited until he heard a car drive away til he opened the cabinet and did his ritual. He removed the Pepto-Bismal from it's spot and flicked a little switch which made a drawer/ box pop out. He took the box up and made sure the door to the bathroom was locked. Sora unlocked the box and opened it revealing all kinds of sharp weapons. He pulled out a screw and placed the box in the sink. Placing the sharp edge to his skin, right on a small bruise, hard, he swiped it across drawing blood instantly. He sighed in relief unlike the one caused by the hot water. _Good. At least I'm still a little alive. As of right now at least._ He put the screw away and locked the box back up. The young teen put everything away as his blood ran down to his fingertips.

He opened the door and walked back upstairs and into his room. He went through his dresser and picked out a black shirt shirt that sayed 'Life sucks then you die.' on it in red. Then he pulled out a black pair of pants and put them both on. He opened the top drawer and pulled out two long chains, two shorter ones, and then some earrings. The earrings were one that looked like a screw, that was put in his lower left ear; a revearsed red half-hoop was put in the next one up; a small black dot was put in the highest up one; a quarter inch long chain with a dragon, just like the one on his arm, was put in his right ear. Thin black gloves were put on his hands and a little up his arms to cover up his cutting cuts and some bruises. He pulled some cover up out of the drawer and opened it. He covered up all the bruises and scars then put it away. He pulled out some powder and put that over the cover up making it the same color as his skin and looking exactly the same.

He ran down stairs and looked at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. _Already 8:12! I'm going to be late!_ Sora grabbed his backpack and ran out of the house, locking and shutting it quickly. His school, Heart High, started at 8:30 and it was at least a 20 minute walk to get there. He ran down the sidewalk and saw his boyfriend. The teen gulped then ran over to him when he was called to. Riku, was his boyfriend's name. He was a silver-blonde and a glare that you could feel a mile away. His eyes were aqua-green like the ocean a couple blocks away from them. Riku was wearing blaggy navy blue jeans and a loose red sweater.

"Hey, Sora. Late too I see. Over sleep again?" He was really nice when he wanted to be but... **don't**... get in his way when he's even a little pissed at you. The bad part is. You can never tell. Well at least Sora can't. The brunette looked up at the blonde and shock his head. "You didn't? Then why are you late?"

"I was just really busy this morning." He was technaclly telling the truth. He **_was_** busy.

"Care to tell me what?" Riku looked at him in the eyes then down the his wrists.

_I can't lie! He knows when I lie! Dammit! Think think think! _"Well... I...was... " Before he could answer Riku stopped, grabbed his arm and looked at the skin under the glove. "Riku! What are you doing!" Sora was forced to stop to and was really nervous when his boyfriend picked up his other arm, the injuried one.

"Seeing what you did to yourself this time." Riku whispered in a nasty voice. He hated seeing Sora hurt. Meaning he **hated... **no **depsized** Sora's dad. He looked at the wrist where it was cut. "Why do you cut only on the bruises and just deep enough to draw blood?" Riku looked confused and worried.

"Cause... it's just a habit. I can't get out of it."

"You should break it." Riku put the glove back but held on to Sora's hand. "No, not should. You _are_ going to break it." Riku looked back at Sora. "Got that?" His eyes had that glare in them. Sora nodded slowly. "Good." Riku looked back in front of him and started to run, dragging Sora with him.

_**I'm tired of being what you want me to be **_

_**feeling so faithless **_

_**lost under the surface**_

_**I don't know what you're expecting of me**_

_**put under the pressure **_

_**of walking in your shoes **_

_**caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow**_

_**every step that I take is another mistake to you **_

_**caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow**_

When they reached the school, the bell was ringing and the kids were going inside. They sighed. They looked at each other then took off running. They were equally fast so they'd alway compete to get better than the other. Slowing down when they got inside they walked to Riku's locker. They put there stuff in they didn't need and took out what they needed for first and second. They had most of classes together and they sat next to each other in each of them. They walked to their first period, which was Science, carefully doging everyone who was hurrying around to get to class. When the couple got to their desitation they sat down in the farthest back table and started talking about whatever popped into their heads.

"So-o what's up?" Sora asked.

Riku sighed his head was resting on his arm. His hands stoking where the new cut was. "Nothing much. I made a new song for Flying... It's not finished yet though."

"Can I hear it?" Sora loved Riku's songs, which sounded even better when it was Riku singing it instead of Tidus the lead singer.

"Not yet! I said I didn't finish it yet!"

"Ooh. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

There was a long silence til Sora broke it.

"You do relize I can't feel that. Right?" Sora was looking down a Riku's hand and his wrist.

"You can't?" Sora shook his head. Riku pushed a little harder but not hard enough to hurt him. "What about now?" He shook his head again. "Why not. It asleep." Once again Sora shook his head. "Tell me why then."

"My whole body's gone numb. I can't feel anything. Nothing except a pain. But even that's only when it gets to the almost unbearable pain for unnumb people."

_**I've**_

_**become so numb**_

_**I can't feel you there**_

_**become so tired**_

_**so much more aware**_

_**I'm becoming this**_

_**all I want to do**_

_**is be more like me**_

_**and be less like you **_

Riku's eyes widened just as the teacher came in. "Welcome class. I'm going to be your sub to day! My name is Miss Nanima! But you can call me Yuffie!" Yuffie had short black hair that was held back by a band. She was wearing a tight pair of faded blue jeans and a short-sleeved shirt that sayed 'Hello world! I'm annoying!'

"We have to talk after class." Riku looked at the supposed sub. then back at Sora. His eyes weren't filled with the usual happiness or anger, but concern., and saddness. They were even tearing up.

"Riku..." Sora reached his hand up to Riku eyes and wiped the unfallen tears away. "Don't be sad. Please." Sora gave a casual grin. "Come on smile. Please." Riku let out a forced smile.

"Happy?" Sora shook his head. "Well then to bad." Riku pulled away from his boyfriend and starred at the teacher. Well not at her more in her general direction. Sora looked at Riku for a second longer then pulled his arms under the table, pulling something out of his pocket then keeping them hidden, and looked down at where they would be.

Riku looked at Sora's slightly moving shoulders. _What's he doing? _ Riku put his hands under the table and found Sora's arm. The brunette didn't notice and continued moving his arms and hands. Riku's curious expression was magnified by at least 10 times. He moved his hand down Sora's arm and felt a little prick which made him pull his hand away. _What the! _ He went to the place again and didn't feel anything until he felt it again. It was something really sharp like a nail or something. Then he relized it. Sora was cutting right next to him. He kept his hand there and felt the nail go over the same spot over and over. It hurt like hell almost to the point were he wanted to scream but couldn't. The nail moved a little but dug right into the skin. He felt the blood from both cuts. Sora didn't notice. Miss Nanima was obsorbed into her lecture about how chewing gum helps the brain to notice anything. Each time the nail hit Riku's skin it got harder and harder to refrane from screaming.

It was finally the end of class and Sora was 'cutting', or so he thinks, himself all class. Riku dragged Sora out of the classroom and into the hallway, pinning him against the lockers. No one noticed. Theyt just walked by like it happened everyday. But it most likely did.

"Sora..." Tears were streaming down his face. "Why?" Was all he got out.

"What are you-?" His eyes widened. Then he looked down at his wrists. There was only a couple cuts there. _I wasn't cutting myself I was-! I my god! _Sora paled. _That had to of pratically killed him! _"Ooh my god."He whispered. "I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry." He had tears brimming in his eyes. Sora grabbed Riku's hands finding the injured arm by the blood dripping off of his hand. He rolled the sleeve up revealing so-o many cuts that were bleeding... he had to close his eyes and pray he was imagining it. He openned his eyes again, his sight a little blurrybut not as bad cause the tears were flowing down his cheeks. "Riku... why didn't you tell me to stop! I said I couldn't fe-" His eyes widened. Riku was kissing him. So he kissed back, closing his eyes.

Once the kiss broke apart, all the students were in there classrooms. Sora wiped the tears from Riku face and eyes. The blonde did the same. The sobbing slowed down to a sniffle every now and then. They sat on the floor holding each other. Riku was sitting in Sora's lap with his boyfriends arms wrapped around him, stoking his cuts though the sweater. I'm sorry's were all you could hear.

_**can't you see that you're smothering me**_

_**holding too tightly **_

_**afraid to lose control**_

_**cause everything that you thought I would be**_

_**has fallen apart right in front of you **_

_**caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow**_

_**every step that I take is another mistake to you**_

_**caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow**_

_**and every second I waste is more than I can take **_

"Riku?" Sora whispered after a little while of complete silence. There was no answer. "Riku?" The brunette said a little louder, shaking him slightly. "You asleep?" He put his hand over Riku's heart and felt the heart beat, signaling he was just asleep. "I'm sorry Riku. I lied to you. And you acually beleived it. I love you, Riku. That's the other thing I can feel. My love for you. No matter how hard you beat. Or hit me. I will always love you. Til the day I die. And forever."

Riku moved a little so he was sitting on the floor. He moved his back into the lockers, which means he was a wake the whole time. Sora blushed a little bit cause Riku heard his love confession.

"Sora, I'm so-o sorry." The blonde was starring off into space. "I'm so-o sorry for what I've done to you. So sorry I drag up through hell when I'm angry even if it's not at you. I'm no better than your dad. How can you still love something that's so cruel to you? That hurts you? It kills me to see you hurt. Yet I'm normally the one that makes it worse. I hit the one that I love. How can I do that? Then still live and not help you? I'm so-o fucking selfish."

"Your not selfish. No one bit." The brunette grabbed Riku's arm and showed it to him. "That shows that you're not selfish. If you just let me continue and not intervene in anyway. That would be selfish. You let me continue but had your hand and arm there instead of mine. How could you go through that?"

Riku shrugged. "I wanted to feel what you do. I don't know how you can do that almost every day. That's one strong person." Riku smiled a little then looked down at his arm. "How can you stand that?"

Sora picked up the nail from his pocket and pushed it so lightly into Riku's skin he barely felt it, but he felt it just enough for him to yelp. "That's all I can feel." Riku's eyes widened. "That's what I mean by numb. This is what my dad said he's like when I told him. Then he said he was happy about it."

_**I've**_

_**become so numb**_

_**I can't feel you there**_

_**become so tired**_

_**so much more aware**_

_**I'm becoming this**_

_**all I want to do**_

_**is be more like me**_

_**and be less like you **_

****Riku shook his head. "I swear you dad is crazy. He has to be to... you know."

Sora nodded. "Yeah... But you know what?"

"What?"

"Without my dad... I would have never met you. The love of my life." Sora leaned his head on to the blonde's shoulder. "I love you."

Riku put his head on Sora's and whispered, for the first time sence they met when Riku was bearly two, "I love you. More than I could ever love life. I'm going to help you."

"With what?

"Gaining back your ablility to feel anything."

"But I do feel somethings. Well two. But it's okay. I like it sometimes. I can't feel my beatings as bad as I would normally be able to."

"Sora... That's the problem. You dad is the strongest person on this island. And you can barely feel when he hits you at full force. I like how your not that badly hurt. But..." Riku played with Sora's earrings. "... your just like him if you can't feel anything."

"Don't bother trying. It's a hopeless case."

_**And I know**_

_**I may end up failing too**_

_**But I know**_

_**You were just like me with someone disappointed in you**_

_**I've**_

_**become so numb**_

_**I can't feel you there**_

_**become so tired**_

_**so much more aware**_

_**I'm becoming this**_

_**all I want to do**_

_**is be more like me**_

_**and be less like you **_

"Yeah. I know. But I'd rather try than not to. I hate seeing you numb. I hate this. It's killing right now. Just sitting here. Wasting seconds." Riku kissed the top of Sora'sa head. "I have to find out how to help you. I have to. I want you to feel me kissing you. Teasing you. Poking you. Tickling you." _I want my Sora back. _Riku thought then voiced it.

"Ooh so I'm yours now?" Sora looked at the blonde. Their eyes locked.

"Yes, you are." Riku wrapped his non-injured arm around Sora. "And I don't share." Sora laughed lightly. It was like music to his ears. _I so-o want to be able to tickle him. Hhmmm..._ Riku poked Sora side and got no reaction. _Well I have my work cut out for me._

_**I've become so numb**_

_**I can't feel you there**_

_**Is everything what you want me to be**_

_**I've become so numb**_

_**I can't feel you there**_

_**Is everything what you want me to be**_

**AU:** Well there's my songfic. yawns So-o tired. It sucks I know! Really badly. I ran out of ideas and I had to finish it today so yeah. It sucks! I'm sorry! I promise to make it up to you! Some how. To everyone who reveiws I'll give... two verual cookies!


End file.
